I woke up today thinking about my cancer, first thing. Check the lump. Is it smaller? What will the doctor say next week? Is there lots more cancer under that small lump? Is the doctor not telling me how severe my case is; maybe I really only have a few months to live??? “You’ve just been fooling yourself.” a wicked voice in my head snickers and laughs.
Then a fresh voice, a beautiful voice breaks in: “You are healing. You walk about 4 miles a day, your breathing is excellent. This is plan A. No plan B. And what about that blog you wrote last night about keeping your focus on Jesus?” I calm down a bit, and shift my lens of my heart toward Jesus and His compassion. He is my Good Samaritan. Fear and death slink away like a cloaked man in a dark alleyway.
Did you know the Bible says, “God hates divorce, and a man cloaked in violence.” in the book of proverbs? Most people only know the first part. That leaves the men out there cloaked in violence to keep sneaking around, I think to myself. The verse suggests God hates covert, secret violation – “violence” which is a word to describe chaos, destruction, panic, abuse, physical, brute force, mayhem, powering over with control, spiritual abuse, violation and loss. It is a radical form of theft. Cancer is definitely “cloaked in violence.”
I conclude, after musing for a while, God hates cloaked cancer, and my Bible study ends with a conversation with Him. “So, you hate cancer. I am trusting Your heart is like the Good Samaritan’s and you desire health and life for me. Can you please defeat the cloaked cancer and remove it from my body today? Please.” Then, I remember, I have authority, in Jesus, to command the cancer to leave. Why is that harder for me? I do that type of praying for others….so, I take a moment and do the same for myself.
I am happy my focus has shifted to Him instead of remaining on the cancer. It is a discipline, especially on mornings like today. However, I think my photo session on “focus” and light yesterday will remind me to keep my focus on what’s most important. And some days, I have to adjust the amount of light coming into my morning lens.